So recently, I got into a bit of D-D-D-D-DRAMA with a troll that's been known to come around here. He's the type of troll that thinks his troll persona is two things (funny and not a reflection of his actual self) that it quite obviously isn't, and I took it upon myself to make fun of many of his posts, the way you have to make fun of a bad movie in order to sit through it. ANYWAY....

The guy happens to have a certain amount of skill as an artist, a fact of which he's really, really, really fuckin' proud, even while posting with, and I quote, "satirical intentionality of the obnoxiousness and bad grammar" of his troll account.
He soon decided to take his OMG EXPERTISE and splatter it all over my gallery.

Here are some of his helpful crits:

“you can't draw. peace.”
“bitch got shannen doherty eyes” _{[that was the entire crit. Lolwut?]}
“if you want to somehow tell me why the hands in this pic are better than these ones i drew when i was 17 be my guest _{[links to a sketchbook page of broken and disjointed hands]}”
“aww you think you have potential”
“damn girl, you got that 11th grade, if i may estimate, writing style, which you write in, down pat. love the run-ons, and the wanton, if not blatant, overuse of commas, which look, somewhat, like this: ,.” _{[the piece in question has a hell of a lot of flaws, but the comma use really doesn’t strike me as outstanding. Maybe I just read too many old books].}

Y’all get the idea. After a while, this wore pretty thin, and he wound up being the first person ever to make it onto my list of blocked users.

But wait, there’s more!

He decided to send me a great big massive tl;dr email from his “true self” as opposed to the “ persona” he was posting in. The main point of the email is that hey, no offense, but I suck. Relevant quotes from the email:

_{[After telling me I hate myself and am a basement-dweller]} “I can't say for sure because I don't make assumptions about people based on forum posts. But I digress.” _{[This has been one of his great themes. Nothing anybody says on the internet apparently reflects anything at all about their true personality, and going onto internet forums to socialize makes you immature and childish unless you’re him.]}

“Nothing in this particular message was designed for the sole purpose of angering you. _{[Watch the rest of the message.]} However, everything I've said as _{[name of troll account]} … are based on valid, legitimate criticisms.” _{[you can’t draw. peace. That’s a valid, legitimate criticism.]}

“Your friends, as I have gathered, do not criticize your work. Even the most amateurish and unsightly submissions in your gallery receive lots of undue praise from your peers.” _{[Lolwut? Most of my pieces receive almost no comments, and a great deal of the comments they do receive are from people, some my friends, some strangers, who point out flaws and make suggestions for improvement in my work. I set everything to “Advanced Critique Encouraged for a reason, y’know.]}

“If you were willing to truly read my comments you would notice that I don't cop-out with an easy "lol you suck,"”_{[Lemme look at those helpful crits up top again….]}

“…you vehemently deny that anything is wrong with your work…”_{[maybe here he has me confused with snapesnogger. I dunno.]}

“Your art…is not very good…I would say this even IF I hadn't been formally trained in life drawing and anatomy for four years, let alone requested by my professors to appear in freshman classes and give lessons. You don't need to know how to bake a cake to know that someone else's tastes like crap.”_{[Oh lawd, the modesty! And isn’t that just SO helpful?]}

“Often, it appears that you draw with outlines first, instead of the "proper" method of drawing a simple gesture, constructing the basic form with simple, 3-dimensional shapes, and then adding final contour and detail.”_{[Holy shit, I favor line to gesture? Not drawing everything from the inside out obviously means I’m incompetent! Honestly, I know my art needs work, and I sure as hell do need more figure-drawing classes, but I’m more interested in depicting outside contours than internal movements. Must I draw everything the opposite of the way I like to draw just to meet the current standard for “ proper”?]}

“If you can't tell why _{[a particular drawing he’s taken special issue with, and that I’ve admitted many times needs work]} sucks, then I am honestly tempted to say that you are simply not meant to be an artist. I would like to believe, however, that anyone can be an artist, so let's hope that's not the case.” _{[refer again to the actual crits and that second sentence will make you lol a bit]}

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Moar insults, moar claiming that he's not trying to insult me and enjoining me to listen despite my personal dislike for him, moar and moar examples of reasons I really am not inclined to value his opinion even though I love a good crit and absolutely do admit that my work art needs serious help and my anatomy is quite flawed.


This was going to be a complaint, but it's tl;dr, so now it's just an ordinary old journal update on my drama life.

Also, last night I had a dream I was going to have cosmetic surgery on my genitals to give them a little green mohawk.